


Déjà Vu

by Bertholdts_coffee



Series: Déjà Vu [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, College AU, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Its actually more like a love inequality sign shh, Love Triangles, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-20
Updated: 2014-01-22
Packaged: 2018-01-02 03:09:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1051827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bertholdts_coffee/pseuds/Bertholdts_coffee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of how Eren Jaeger meets Armin Arlert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A New Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! This is the first chapter in a series called Déjà Vu. Enjoy! :)

[Here comes the sun, here comes the sun  
And I say it's all right](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gq9L-BgSFJg)

[Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter  
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gq9L-BgSFJg)

[Here comes the sun, here comes the sun  
And I say it's all right](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gq9L-BgSFJg)

-Here Comes The Sun (The Beatles)

 

Armin was standing at the place Jean had told him to go to; he had sent a text an hour earlier saying:

**From: Jean **  
 **Armin will u meet me @ the park by the fountain @ 11 ******  
****

Armin had gotten up, gotten dressed (for he had already showered and got into pajamas) and set out for the park. That was where he stood at 11:15 at night, waiting for Jean. Of course, it wasn’t unusual for him to be late, but Armin was still a little upset that Jean had dragged him out of bed so late at night just to stand him up. He sighed, resolving to wait five more minutes before heading in for the night. Right after he had decided this, a voice called out,”Hey, pretty? Why are you up so late, hmm? Looking for a bite?” He turned and saw a group of men approaching him, a drunken taint to their steps.

“Um,” he called out, not sure what to do. “I’m not actually a girl-“His words were stopped by a fresh wave of laughter from the group of men.

“Honey, do you think you can fool us? We know a little lady when we see one.” Armin watched their movements closely, and he was suddenly very afraid. Where was Jean when he needed him? He started to walk backwards slowly, for he hoped not to resort to violence. He was outnumbered, and he could never beat any of them one on one, anyway. “Hey, don’t you think of running, princess. If you run and we catch you, you will be very, very sorry.” Armin took this as an invitation; they wouldn’t hold off for much longer. So he turned and fled out of the park.

His footfalls were quick and light at first, but they soon became heavy and slow; his breathing became laborious, and he knew he would not last much longer in an all-out chase. So he put on a burst of speed and left his pursuers in the dust. He turned a corner quickly and ran into an alley, hoping that he could lose their trail and make his way home. However, when he reached the back of the alleyway, he found it was blocked with a brick wall at least seven feet tall. He cursed, wondering why someone would build a wall right in the middle of an alleyway. He turned, hoping he could race out before his pursuers found him, but he was too late. A group of dark shadows formed in front of the opening to the alley, and the group advanced toward Armin.

Armin pushed his back up against the brick wall, cowering slightly as the men made their way toward him. He didn’t know what they would do now, but he was sure they would hurt him. The tallest man stepped toward him, raising his hand and slapping him across the face. “So you tried to run, honey? Didn’t I tell you not to?” The sharp sound of another slap rang through the air. “Didn’t..I..tell..you..not..to..run?” Now each word came with a slap, and blood was now pouring out of his nose. He gasped with pain at each slap, and suddenly the man’s hands came down and grasped his wrists, forcing his hands away from his face.

Suddenly, a cry came from behind. A man, who was much smaller than the rest, ran through the group and punched the one holding Armin’s hands. He toppled to the group and the smaller man yelled, “Run!” before engaging in the fight with the rest of the group of men. He was outnumbered 1 to 6, but he fought like a demon, and before long, half of them were out cold. He turned back and frowned at Armin, saying, “What are you waiting for? Go!” With that said, Armin ran as fast as he could away from the scene. He was sure the man would be ok, because he had seen how he fought already. They weren’t taking him down soon. So Armin made his way back to his dorm before he could get caught in unawares again; if Jean was at the park, waiting for him, well, he’d just have to wait. He wasn’t going out alone like that again.

It was only after he had gotten home safely with the door locked and bolted that he treated his nose. It wasn’t broken, thank god, but it was going to be majorly bruised up in the morning. His lip was also swollen and bleeding, but he cleaned it in the shower and applied antiseptic, so it was going to be fine. It wasn’t until he laid his head on the pillow and closed his eyes that he thought of his mysterious savior. All that he had seen of the man’s face was a well-tanned complexion, dark hair, and bright green eyes. Armin silently thanked the man for helping him out in his time of need. Shortly after that, he fell asleep.

* * *

In the morning, he made his way to the coffee shop where he always met Jean in the mornings. Jean was standing there with his coffee cup to his lips, drinking slowly. His widened when he saw Armin’s face, and Armin winced at Jean’s reaction. He made his way up to Jean, clearing a path through the crowded interior of the café. When he reached Jean, the taller male let out a breath and said,”Damn, Armin. What happened?”  
“Do you want to know what happened, Jean? Your meeting happened. I was waiting at the fountain for half an hour and you didn’t show up.”  
Jean stared at him with a twisted expression, saying, and “I didn’t know waiting at the fountain for half an hour would screw up your face so bad. Why’s your face…like that?”

Armin’s eyes widened, wondering if he should tell Jean. “None of your business. I’m still upset that you made me wait fifteen minutes past the time you were supposed to be there. It’s not safe to go out late at night alone, Jean.”

Jean’s eyes showed sincerity as he held Armin close to him and said, “I’m sorry for making you wait. I’m sorry for making you go out late.”

Armin pushed Jean’s arm off of him and said, “I’m going to the music store. I’ll see you later.” He walked away from Jean and out into the cold winter air. He had to get away from Jean before he felt sorry for him and forgave him. He wasn’t ready to forgive Jean yet.

He pushed his way past the crowd, heading up the street toward the music store, Armored Music. It was almost Christmastime, and everyone was rushing around to buy gifts. Armin still hadn’t bought gifts for Jean and his parents at home, so he resolved to buy them some CDs. He walked into the music store and breathed in the pristine air. He looked over and saw a man lying in a chair with his guitar laid across his lap. Even though his posture was horrible (Armin was a hardcore musician), he was still pretty good. Armin walked over to the man and noticed a large dark bruise going up one side of his face. Armin noticed that the man had a slightly angry look on his face as he plucked the strings on his guitar harder than needed.

Armin coughed a little and the noirette looked up at him, saying rudely, “What do you want?”

“Well, I just wanted to say that you’re really good.” Said Armin, and the brunette grunted in response, going back to his guitar.

“What happened to your face?” He said, still not making eye contact.

_Is it really that bad? _Armin thought, saying,”Funny story. I got slapped last night.”__  
The brunette cocked his eyebrow, replying, and “Awful slap. What did you do, spill nail polish on your boyfriend’s games?” He grunted at his own joke, still plucking his guitar.

Armin blushed at the noirette’s words. “No. I did nothing. They attacked me because they thought I was a girl.”  
The brunette sat up, setting his guitar down. “They? How many?”

“Six.” Armin replied coolly, raising his own eyebrow. This guy seemed kind of familiar. Then it hit him: This was the guy that had saved him last night.

“Holy shit. I fought six guys last night. That was you?” Then, he reached up suddenly and touched Armin’s face, running his hand over his bruised nose and swollen lip. “Those bastards did this?” He asked quietly. His cool demeanor was gone, replaced by one of interest and concern.

“Yeah…” answered Armin. He was curious at the brunette’s sudden change of mood. “What song was that?” asked Armin, hoping to change the subject.  
The brunette’s finger fell off his face and back to his guitar, strumming the same tune as before. “Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles.” He answered automatically, his cool demeanor right back in place. Armin pulled a chair up next to him, listening to him play his beautiful music.

“I play piano, violin, and jazz trumpet.” stated Armin, shooting a grin at the noirette. “I’m in the jazz band at the uni.”

The Brunette whistled appreciatively, saying, “And here I am, only playing one instrument.”

Armin smiled again at the brunette. “You know I’d really like to get to know you. You saved my life, after all.” He shifted in his chair, looking down. He really wanted to treat this man to dinner; after all, he probably wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the brunette.

“Are you trying to ask me on a date, blondie?” asked the brunette, a grin playing across his features. Although the bruise disoriented his features, he was still pretty good looking.

Armin blushed and quickly exclaimed, “What? No! I have a boyfriend!” Armin paused for a minute, and then asked, “What’s your name? I think I should know my savior’s name.” He grinned at the brunette to show he was joking. “My name’s Armin, by the way.” He said offhandedly.

“Huh. Armin. Weird name. My name’s Eren. Eren Jaeger.” He shook hands with Armin, sarcastically bending his head over to kiss Armin’s hand. He felt his stomach flutter when Eren’s lips grazed his hand, but he told himself reproachfully that it was just a joke.

“Hmm… Jaeger. Doesn’t that mean ‘hunter’ in German?” asked Armin, going back to the German he had taken in high school.

“Huh. You’re pretty smart, aren’t you? Tell you what. I’ll give you my number, and you give me yours. That way you can keep in touch with your savior.” He smirked at his own joke and tore a corner off a piece of sheet music. He jotted down a number with his pen and handed it off to Armin. He handed the pen to Armin, who quickly wrote his number down and handed it to Eren. “I gotta go, Armin. But we should meet up again. I mean it.” With that said, Eren smiled and packed up his guitar. Soon he had gone out into the bitter cold December weather, hoisting his guitar over his shoulder.

Armin watched Eren leave, and he felt strangely sad. He liked talking to the brunette, and he wanted to talk more. He smiled again while entering Eren’s number into his phone. Eren was under the name ‘savior’. He would laugh when he saw that. Armin was so immersed in his phone that he didn’t notice Jean coming up behind him until he felt arms wrapping around his torso. He sighed and smiled up at Jean, who gave him a peck on his swollen lip. He winced a little, and Jean apologized profusely while Armin waved him off.

They spent the next hour browsing through music, showing each other songs with weird titles or weird band names, and they had a great time. In the end he bought some Sinatra music for his parents, an album called Night Visions by Imagine Dragons for Jean, and Abbey Road by The Beatles for Eren. He didn’t care if he already had the album; he probably already did. It just felt nice to buy something for Eren.

That night before Armin went to bed, he looked over at his phone to see if there was any new texts. No such luck. He put his phone down gently on his nightstand and rolled over. Maybe Eren didn't like to start conversations. He shrugged, and told himself that he would send Eren a text in the morning. But after five minutes, he couldn't bear the wait. Turning over, he reached for his phone and typed out a text to Eren:

**To: Savior**

**Hey there, savior. Goodnight, sleep tight!**

With that sent, he could finally fall asleep. He fell asleep that night with a wide smile on his face.


	2. A Day Not Wasted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Armin hang out together in the city of Trost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two in the Déjà Vu series

[What would my head be like](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5UaCawaYjY)

[If not for my shoulders](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5UaCawaYjY)

[Or without your smile](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5UaCawaYjY)

[May it follow you forever](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5UaCawaYjY)

[May it never leave you](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5UaCawaYjY)

[To sleep in the stone,](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5UaCawaYjY)

[May we stay lost on our way home](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5UaCawaYjY)

[C’mon, c’mon, with everything falling down around me](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5UaCawaYjY)

[I’d like to believe in all the possibilities](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5UaCawaYjY)

-C’mon (Panic! At The Disco)

Armin woke up the next day to three new texts waiting on his phone:  
 **From: Savior**  
 **Fuck u. u woke me up**

**From: Jeaniebeanie**   
**Hey Armin. Sorry about yesterday. Wanna meet up today? Xoxo**

**From: Savior**   
**Hey wanna hang out 2day**

Armin laughed out loud at Eren’s text. Then he smiled at Jean’s. He could schedule something with the both of them; after all, he wasn’t that busy today, having completed his homework early in the morning yesterday. He sent the next two texts to them:

**To: Savior**   
**Sure! Does dinner sound good?**

**To: Jeaniebeanie**   
**Ok :) how about lunch?**

Satisfied with the texts, Armin left to go take a shower. When he got back, he had texts from both Jean and Eren.

**From: Jeaniebeanie**   
**Sure that sounds nice xoxo**

**From: Savior**   
**Sure, BUT UR BUYING**

Armin once again laughed at Eren’s texts and got ready to meet Jean at their favorite lunch spot. The place specialized in sandwiches, but Jean never got their sandwiches. Armin didn’t know why, but he thought it was funny. He headed out the door half an hour to noon, hoping to meet Eren at the music store again. However, there was no such luck. Armored Music was completely void of any and all people save for the staff. Armin was disappointed at first, but he decided to wait out the remaining time until his lunch date here. After all, it wasn’t often that the music store was quiet and peaceful like it was now.

He spent almost twenty minutes in the music store before realizing it was almost time for his lunch date with Jean. He quickly gathered his things and rushed out the door towards the restaurant, hoping Jean wouldn’t be mad. He slowed down after nearing the restaurant, trying to seem like he hadn’t been running to make it on time. He saw Jean standing there, waiting for him, and his face immediately broke into a smile. “Jean!” he cried, rushing towards the taller male. Jean turned around and smiled at Armin

“Armin!” he said, embracing the blond. “I’m glad your swelling is coming down.”

Armin smiled up at Jean. “Shall we eat?”

Jean wrapped his arm around Armin and asked, “Sure. Want me to order?” Armin nodded gratefully and left Jean to order while he looked for a table. There seemed to be no unoccupied tables inside, so Armin ventured outside to secure a table. The weather was pretty warm for late November, and Armin took it as an invitation to sit outside and enjoy observing all the people hurrying along their way. When Jean came with his steaming hot roast beef sandwich, Armin took a large bite and sighed appreciatively. This meal was perfect for chilly November weather.

After they finished eating, Armin and Jean sat and talked to each other quietly. Eventually, the forbidden subject of the meeting at the park came up.

“But, shit, Armin. I’m so sorry about asking you to come out so late at night with no protection whatsoever.” Jean wrung his hands fretfully, looking at Armin to see if he would get mad again.

Armin winced at the apology, for he knew how hard it was for Jean to apologize; it wasn’t his true nature. So Armin reached out and grasped Jean’s hands, saying, “Ok. I forgive you. Just…don’t ask me to do it again, ok?”

Jean smiled at Armin and said, “No problem! I won’t ever ask you to do that again.” He scooted his chair closer to Armin’s and asked quietly, “What exactly happened that night? Why’s your face all bruised up?”

Armin closed his eyes and said, “I was attacked by this group of men because they thought I was girl.” He smiled quickly and pressed a finger of Jean’s mouth to keep him from interrupting. “But, I got away, so it’s fine, right?” He didn’t want Jean to feel any guiltier than he needed to.  
Jean put his hands over his face and sent out another muffled apology. “Oh shit, Armin, I’m so sorry.”

Armin patted Jean clumsily on the back and said, “it’s ok. No really.” He added, seeing Jean open his mouth to argue. Jean looked down at his watch and declared he had to get to class. Armin was sorry to see him go, but that meant some leisure time between his meeting with Jean and his meeting with Eren. They kissed goodbye and Jean left, walking up the road toward Trost University. Armin stood and watched him go until he rounded a corner. Then Armin turned and left for his dorm to pick up his violin and trumpet.

* * *

He arrived later to the music shop, which was as full and bustling as usual. Armin slid into one of the practice rooms and took out his trumpet. If he could, he would practice violin, but trumpet was his main priority; the Christmas concert was coming up at the university and he didn’t want to be ill-prepared. He got out his music and set it on the stand and took his trumpet up to his lips. He licked his lips once before he began to play.  
First he was playing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”, which was one of his favorites. He was in love with the tune and the heartfelt lyrics that went along. Next he took out his mute and launched into a jaunty number of “Let It Snow”. It certainly lifted his spirits, and when he finished, he was grinning ear to ear. He was playing so loudly that he hadn’t even noticed Eren enter the room. So when he heard the brunette’s slow clapping from behind him, he jumped and turned around fast.

“Eren!” he squealed, seeing the mischievous smile playing on the noirette’s features. “Don’t do that!”

Eren was almost doubled over in laughter. “Oh my god, Armin! You should have seen the look on your face!”

Armin felt a blush heat his features and he was sure that went perfectly with his giant bruised up nose. “Eren! Don’t do that!” he paused, looking and seeing Eren’s guitar propped up against the wall. “How long have you been here, anyway?”

The brunette leaned up against the wall, looking Armin up and down. “Since you started playing that song. You’re pretty good.” He exhaled and said, “I came here to do some practicing before dinner, and I guess you had the same idea. I wasn’t stalking you, or anything.”

Armin smiled at the compliment, saying, “Well, great minds think alike.” He gestured for Eren to come over to sit with him. “You can practice in here, if I’m not too loud.”

Eren bowed mockingly and said, “I’d be honored.” He unpacked his guitar and sat in a chair across from Armin, this time playing chords of a new song that Armin didn’t know.

“What’s that?” asked Armin, putting his trumpet down and looking at the brunette curiously.

“Drops of Jupiter.” he answered irritability. He seemed frazzled and on edge, very unlike he was a minute before. Armin was curious about Eren’s mood changes, but he decided not to ask at the moment. He packed up his trumpet, thinking it would be too loud for Eren to hear his guitar. Armin pulled out his violin and tuned it after shushing Eren. After signaling to Eren that he could play, he launched into a song that he had played a year ago in his high school orchestra. He had liked it a lot, so he practiced it enough to memorize it. It was now one of his regular warm up songs.

He stopped playing and turned to see Eren staring at him. “That was amazing!” the noirette exclaimed, sitting on the edge of his seat. Armin noticed his bleak expression was gone, and he was happy. He didn’t want Eren to be upset about anything.

“R-really? I’m not that good...” Armin said, setting the violin on his knees. “I thought we could go to Subway or something and then come back here to play…but we’ve already done that…” he looked up at the brunette and said, “We could walk around the city together or something.”

“Yeah! Sure! That’d be great.” Eren said quickly. He had started to look downcast again, so Armin began packing up his things.

Eren looked over at him curiously, so Armin explained, “Well, I want to show you the park before it gets dark, because the park is pretty dangerous after dark, apparently.” After hearing this, Eren also began to pack up. After a couple minutes, they waved to the staff and made their way out the door toward the park. It was still pretty chilly, and Armin drew his coat around himself, huffing out a chilly breath that hung in the air like a cloud. Eren looked down at Armin, and Armin had to admit he looked kind of…cute. His cheeks and nose were tinged red and the lower half of his face was wrapped in a scarf, making him look like a little kid (never mind the fact that Armin was shorter than him).

They arrived at the park and stood by a long brick wall overlooking a valley filled with winding paths, leafless trees, and little people walking around dressed in winter attire. Nearby, a small ensemble was playing on the sidewalk, a hat set out in front of them for money. Armin blew out another cloudy breath and stared down at the snow covered valley. “You know, I really like this time of year. It’s beautiful in a way, isn’t it?” He turned to look at Eren, but he wasn’t there. He turned around fully just in time to get hit right smack on the face with a giant snowball.

Armin sputtered and coughed, wiping snow out of his eyes as Eren stood laughing in front of him a few yards away. “Eren!” he shouted, but he was grinning at the same time. He reached down and scooped up some snow quietly and threw it in the direction of Eren’s face. It hit him right in the middle of his face, right on his nose. The snow had no sooner touched Eren when the brunette collapsed into the snow, holding his face.

“Nice try, Eren!” the blond called out, but even then he was unsure. As the noirette continued to sit on the ground with his head in his hands, Armin grew unsteady. Had he hurt Eren? Armin approached the brunette cautiously, hoping it wasn’t some sort of trick. “Eren?” he repeated again. He reached his hand out and was about to lay it on the brunette’s back when he jumped up, yelling in Armin’s face. Armin stumbled backward and fell in the snow from shock while Eren once again roared with laughter.

“Was that really necessary, Eren?” Armin asked, dusting the snow out of his hair.

“Hell yes!” exclaimed the brunette, now fully recovered from his laughing episode. “You should have seen your face!”

“Well, it’s time for dinner, anyway, Eren.” Armin walked quickly to the ensemble and dropped a dollar into the hat in front of them, flashing them a grin. Then he walked quickly away toward the nearest Subway. Armin was a college student, so he didn’t have any extra money lying around. But, he worked at the café part time, so he had a little money to spare on dinner. He and Eren ate, occasionally looking at each other and smiling.

After a while, they got bored of sitting in a Subway, so they decided to visit all their favorite places around the city. The brunette first took Armin to an ice cream parlor, and they ordered ice cream to eat on their way around the city. Armin soon regretted it, because ice cream and late November weather did not go together. Next they went back to the park and had another snowball fight. Eren won this round, but Armin got some good shots in between the brunette’s attacks. Finally, they went to Armin’s favorite bookstore.

“Why do we have to go here? Bookstores are so incredibly boring.” whined Eren as they made their way up the street toward the bookstore. The bookstore was an old rickety building that had a warm friendly glow coming from inside. Armin grasped Eren’s hand and pulled him inside the store, pulling off his coat as the warm air of the store engulfed him. He breathed in deeply, taking in the scent of the aged books that were kept here.

“Bookstores aren’t boring! They can be fun!” Armin hissed at Eren. “You have to keep it down, the old man that owns this place doesn’t like loud noises.”

“Ok,” Eren said, smiling mischievously, “I’ll try to keep it down.”

Armin looked at Eren warily, but decided to try and get the brunette to look at some of his favorite books. “Look at this one! It’s one of my favorites. Of course, I already have it at home, so you don’t need to buy it if you want it.” He handed the book to Eren, who took it warily and stared down at the cover.

“It’s giant.” he said, turning the book on its side and letting the pages fan out. “The Princess Bride? What kind of name is that?”

Armin snatched the book from him and closed it gently. “Eren! Take care of the books! They’re not yours!”

“So what if they’re not mine? That doesn’t mean I have to treat them like royalty.”

“You know there’s a rule here that says: you break it, you buy it.”

“Like I give a shit. I’ll be running out the door before he can take his first wheezing breath.”

“It doesn’t work that way, Eren. You can’t just run away from everything.”

“I could probably outrun him. Did you see that man? He’s not exactly an Olympic track runner.”

They were so busy arguing that they didn’t see the old man come hobbling down the aisle of books they were hidden among. He cleared his throat loudly and his water gray eyes looked down angrily upon them.

“Excuse me, boys, but are you buying anything?” he asked in a raspy, wheezy voice.

“N-no.” answered Armin. Eren didn’t say anything, but he was eyeing the man up and down.

“ _Then get out!_ ” the old man shrieked, waving his cane in the air. Eren and Armin quickly got up to leave, the brunette stuffing the book he was holding back onto a random shelf. They pulled on their coats hurriedly and raced out the door, the old man screaming in their ears. Shortly after they left, the old man turned out the lights in the shabby building. The bookstore was closed for the night.

“Oh my god, that was hilarious.” Eren said, laughing and leaning on Armin. “That guy sounded just like I thought.”

“Yeah,” said Armin, his eyes sparkling with mirth. “But he’s a better runner than you thought, right?” Both the blond and the brunette collapsed on top of each other, laughing for a good ten minutes. Armin didn’t know what was so funny, but he couldn’t stop laughing. This was the best time he’d had in a long time.

* * *

After that, they went back to the park again and sat on a bench. It was dark outside now, and it was colder than ever. There was a concert in a clearing not far from them, and they could hear the man’s droning voice floating over to them. Armin shivered a little, and looked up at Eren. His head was turned toward the band, the lights lining the sidewalk defining his jaw line with a shadow. Armin smiled up at him and watched as he cocked his head to the music, picking out harmonies and tunes. He suddenly turned his head to face Armin, and asked, “Can I ask why you were running around alone in the alleyways that night?”

The question took Armin completely by surprise and the blond stuttered out an answer, “M-my boyfriend, Jean, asked me to meet him.”

Eren narrowed his eyes into the classic ‘suspicious’ look. “And he never showed up?” he asked, tilting his head questioningly.

“Not that I know of, no. But Eren, I know where this is going-” Armin said hurriedly, but Eren cut him off.

“Then why are you still talking to him? You could have been killed due to his stupid mistake!”

“Eren, I trust Jean with all my heart. It was the right thing for you to do, to save me that night, but Jean just screwed up a little. Besides, he’s already apologized plenty. I just want this whole thing to be over and done with. Drop it, Eren.” he said, raising his eyebrows at the brunette, daring him to question him more.

Eren opened his mouth and then closed it again, looking angry. Armin reached up and traced his hand along the brunette’s jaw, smiling slightly. “It’s ok, Eren. And thanks again for saving me.” With that said, Armin dropped his hands, into his lap. He felt incredibly serene at that moment, like nothing bad could happen to him. He listened to the singer’s quaky voice, now female, travel over the trees and into his ears. He would be content to spend every day with Eren; he could tell that they clicked with each other. He had only felt this way with Jean before.

He started to feel very tired, with the warmth radiating off of Eren and the calming jazz music keeping a steady beat, like a heartbeat. _Th-thump, th-thump,_ it went , and the feeling made Armin feel drowsy, so he burrowed his head into his scarf and rested his head on Eren’s shoulder slightly. Within a few minutes, Armin was asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'll try to update at least once a week! :)


	3. Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and Armin and Eren become hyper aware of each other, and everything goes wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo guys, here's the third chapter! Sorry for waiting so long, I've been a bit busy. Enjoy!

_All your dreams are made_

_When you're chained to the mirror and the razor blade_

_Today's the day that all the world will see_

_Another sunny afternoon_

_Walking to the sound of my favorite tune_

_Tomorrow never knows what it doesn't know too soon_

\- Champagne Supernova (Oasis)

Armin woke up when the sky was still dark outside, and his phone screen told him that it was 6 am. He tried in vain to get back to sleep, but after 15 minutes of pointless tossing and turning on the bed, he got up and took a quick shower, drying his hair with a towel until it was only slightly damp and pulling on a pair of jeans and collared shirt with a knit sweater over it.  
He sent a quick text to Eren:

**To: Eren**   
**Hey, do you want to hang out today?**

  
He slung his laptop carrier over his shoulder and walked towards the café.

* * *

He walked into the café and set his laptop down, and Jean greeted him with, “Hey babe, want the usual?” without waiting for an answer, he stood and looked at Armin until Armin looked up at him, smiling and nodding. He took his laptop out and set it up, opening his essay on the Salem witch trials. He was supposed to write about mob psychology for his sociology class, and he had chosen the Salem witch trials because he had thought they’d be interesting, and they had not disappointed. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he pulled it out, looking down at the text and seeing it was from Eren.

  
**From: Eren**   
**hell yeah, what time**

  
Armin laughed quietly to himself, not noticing Jean standing above him until he felt his head be tapped gently with a pointy elbow. He reached up and took the coffee, muttering a quick, “thanks.”, and texted Eren back:

  
**To: Eren**   
**How about around noon? We could go out for lunch :3 I'm with the bf right now.**

  
Armin looked up and spotted Jean’s disgruntled face and heard him say, “so, who’re you textin’?” At the same time, his phone buzzed again. He read the next text:

  
**From: Eren**   
**oh youre hangin with douchelord huh? i still don't get that cheesy morning ritual you two have, but hey alright. and yeah noon sounds good are we meeting at the usual spot?**

  
Armin smiled in spite of himself and answered Jean, “I’m texting my friend Eren.” And then typed a reply back to Eren:

  
**To: Eren**   
**I can't talk now, I gotta spend some time with Jean. He's not a douchelord, Eren.**

  
“Of course, Eren fucking nobody from the park, right? Must be an interesting conversation.” Jean huffed, crossing his arms angrily. Armin read Eren’s next text quickly before sliding his phone back into his pocket and looking back up at Jean:

  
**From: Eren**   
**i dunno if hes making you stop texting me and probably giving you a dirty look right now he MIGHT be a douchelord. at least according to studies from very official scientists.**

  
Armin slid his phone into his pocket and looked up at Jean, trying not to appear as nervous as he felt. He ran his fingers over the bridge of his nose lightly, and noted how the swelling had gone down considerably. "I was just asking him stuff." Armin said, dropping his hand into his lap. "I'll stop texting him now if it's really bothering you that much." He picked up his drink and swirled the contents around with his straw, then brought the straw to his mouth and took a sip. “So, what have you been up to?”

  
Jean hesitated for a long time, the expressions on his face growing more and more sour with every passing minute. "...Nothing," said Jean, running a hand through his hair, his face burning red. "Just school, y'know, the usual. I don't exactly go hang out with people," Jean’s eyes narrowed, and his eyes scanned around the coffee shop, taking everything in but Armin. "You're the only one save for Marco that I actually make time for." With a sudden movement, Jean reached across the table and took Armin’s hand in his, finally looking straight into Armin’s bright blue eyes.

  
Armin was surprised but pleased at the sudden contact. He watched expressions flit across Jean’s face, and his heart nearly broke seeing all the pain and inner turmoil his boyfriend was going through. He gripped Jean’s hand tighter, as if to say, I still love you. Armin looked up at Jean and gave him the most sincere, warm smile he could muster, and said out loud, “I love…you?”

He winced inwardly at how the statement had come out of his mouth phrased like a hesitant question. "Why does that sound like a question," Jean murmured, his brow furrowing angrily. Armin felt his face flush and he looked down, embarrassed. “I love you too.” Jean said, and his voice didn’t waver in the least. It was strong and steady, like a protruding rock in a stormy sea. Jean moved toward him from across the table, stealing a long, passionate kiss that left Armin gasping when they broke apart. He rubbed his thumb gently on the back of Armin’s hand and said, so quietly Armin could barely hear, “Are you still mine?”

  
Armin’s face grew redder than before, and he said, somewhat breathlessly, “Jean, I-I can cancel my plans with Eren and we can do something today?” He smiled again, but to his surprise and dismay, Jean’s face grew red with anger. "Can't we have a normal conversation without that asshole's name coming into it?! I swear he's all I fucking hear about anymore!” Jean’s hand broke away from the hand holding and grabbed Armin’s collar and yelled in his face. "The fuck does he have that I don't, huh?? The FUCK IS SO GOOD ABOUT THIS KID THAT I CAN'T GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD LET ALONE YOURS?!" Armin felt tears beading in his eyes, and his breath was coming short and sharp. For the first time in his life, Armin was almost…almost _scared_ of Jean. "Go fucking hang out with that stupid Eren kid, and don't even bother texting me tonight- just delete my fucking phone number, Armin, I can't handle this shit,"Jean stopped and turned, heaving out harsh words like he was unloading a heavy burden. "I love you, Armin, but I'm not gonna stick around and wait until you cheat on me with that kid, and I'm not gonna be strung along."With that said, he turned on his heel and excited the café.

  
Armin sat for a minute in his chair, dumbfounded at what had just happened. Jean had left. Jean was gone. The only person that mattered in his life was gone. He stood up so quickly he bumped his knees on the table. He didn’t pause to soothe the pain, but raced out the door, looking up and down the street for Jean. “Jean!” he yelled, not caring about the dirty looks that the passerby gave him. “Jean!” he yelled again, and despair filled his body, weighing him down like he was carrying around permanent baggage. His breath hitched and the little bit of moisture in his eyes beaded and ran down his cheeks in a torrent, making it so he couldn’t see. He stumbled into the café and gathered up his possessions, ignoring the faces staring at him from all around the coffee shop.

He left the café and stood on the pavement outside, texting Eren hurriedly.

  
**To: Eren**   
**Hey, ccan I meet you earlt**

  
He made a few typos, but he didn’t care. He stuffed his phone into his pocket and walked slowly up to the music shop without waiting to hear from Eren.

* * *

He arrived at the music shop and tossed his stuff onto a vacant chair, slumping into the one next to it. Every time the door opened and let in a cold winter breeze, he looked up eagerly, only to be disappointed by the appearance of a stranger. He was still sobbing, and as soon as he felt the breeze rush over him the third time the door was opened, he knew it was Eren. He looked up and tried a smile, but he suspected it was more of a grimace.

  
"Th-thanks for coming, Eren." He said, sniffling a little and wiping his nose on his sleeve. Eren pulled him into a tight hug, and Armin hugged back, trembling and shaking against his best friend’s chest. "Armin, dude, what happened?" Eren murmured against his ear, pulling back and smiling at him. "You look like hell." Armin reached up to wipe his tears away, but his hand collided with Eren’s as the brunette tried to do the same. Armin lowered his hand sheepishly and let Eren wipe his tears away so softly and gently the gesture was almost affectionate. He imagined his face right now, with a black eye, a swollen nose, and a swollen lip. Not to mention the blotchiness of his face and the mess of snot and tears smeared over his face. Eren must be repulsed.

  
"J-Jean broke up with me." he said, and as soon as he said it, a fresh wave of sadness broke over him and he felt his heart ache. "A-and then he just left!" He pulled his legs up to his chest, resting his face on the crevice in between his knees, trying to muffle his sobbing. They were in public, after all. He raised his head and looked at Eren’s shocked expression, and he felt a twinge of regret for bringing his friend into this. "I'm sorry I had to bring you into this." He said, his voice trembling pathetically. "I-I just had no one else to talk to." He buried his face back in his knees, pressing his nose bridge against his knee caps.

  
Eren scooted him over and sat behind him in the chair, wrapping his arms around Armin and holding him close. "He did what?!" Eren exclaimed, his voice rising in anger. He lowered his voice slightly and said, "God that fucking dick, I'm so so sorry Armin," Armin leaned back against Eren’s chest contentedly. He could feel his heart beat through the fabric of his shirt, and he gave a little sigh of contentment to be able to be so close to his best friend. "Don't be sorry, really, I don't mind," Eren paused, a little smile making its way to his lips. "Well, I mind that he hurt you so badly... but I don't mind listening to you. I just wish I could help you feel better, take the pain awa-" He cut off suddenly, and Armin looked up at him in confusion. His friend’s face was dusted with a light pink blush, and he was looking away from Armin. Eren grasped Armin’s shoulders and rubbed small circles on his back with his thumb, and soon Armin was all out of tears, and the very last sniffles had made their mark and left. "I know you're sad... but," Eren gave a nervous little grin that would've been sheepish if the look in his eyes hadn't been so soft. "You're too pretty to cry, Armin."

  
At that last comment, Armin felt his heart beat painfully, as if he had some…larger feelings for Eren than close friendship. _That’s insane_ , he told himself. _You don’t like him, you like Jean_. But his heart said otherwise. He heard Jean’s words echo in his head, _"I love you, Armin, but I'm not gonna stick around and wait until you cheat on me with that kid, and I'm not gonna be strung along."_ He suddenly felt sick to his stomach and very very uncomfortable in Eren’s arms. He stood quickly and moved to another chair still near Eren, but not quite so close. The look on Eren’s face almost made him cringe. His face flushed, but not angrily; it was more like shame, or embarrassment. Armin felt horrible for having moved away so fast from Eren, as if he was ungrateful or embarrassed of the PDA going on between them. “I…?” Eren said, a look of hurt and confusion flashing across his face. “Did I do something wrong?”

  
"If... If you want me to go or something- I-" He frowned at Armin, running a hand through his hair and getting snagged on the beanie he was wearing. "Fuck, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, man... but uh, I guess asking if you wanted to come hang out at my place n eat ice cream or something is out of the question now, hah." Armin blushed and fluttered his hand at Eren, saying "I-I'd love to go over to your dorm." He felt horrible for the way he had acted, and a bad break up didn't excuse his behavior at all. He shrugged on his coat; still self aware of his bruises and bumps throbbing all over his face. He slung his laptop bag over his shoulder and stood waiting for Eren, trying not to break down and sob again.  
They walked away from the music shop towards the university, bumping shoulders gently as they walked. "Um, Eren, would you mind if I worked on my essay at your house? I have to get it done..." Armin blushed as his words trailed off, and the brunette looked down at him curiously. Small talk never was Armin’s strong point. "Sure, I'm not gonna steal your computer and forbid you from doing work, dork." Eren grinned down at the Armin, nudging him gently with his elbow before turning his attention back to the sidewalk. "Did you have a specific kind of ice cream you wanted?" Armin shook his head, and kept looking straight forward; hoping Eren wouldn’t see how much he was blushing.

* * *

They arrived to Eren’s dorm on the second floor a couple minutes later, and Eren walked him in and kicked the door open to his own little room, flopping down on the bed and sighing, “Home sweet home.” Armin stood a little to the side of the closed door, feeling immensely uncomfortable, before he walked over to the bed and sat down on it cautiously, looking at Eren and seeing him motion for him to move closer. His face burned and he scooted over to Eren and on a sudden impulse, Armin reached down and grabbed his friend’s hand. "I-I'm sorry, I just find physical contact comforting, and..." he squeezed Eren's hand. "I really need comfort right now." He lowered his chin to his chest so his bangs fell in front of his eyes, and continued, "If you want me to stop, Eren, just tell me." He tried hard not to cry again; he didn't want to make Eren uncomfortable.

  
Eren squeezed his hand reassuringly, and Armin looked over curiously, his face still blotchy with the ghost of tears. He was immensely surprised to see the brunette staring at him with soft eyes; the affection was unfathomably deep in his eyes. Armin blushed in spite of himself, and gave the brunette’s hand a heavy squeeze, just as he had done with Jean earlier this morning. Eren’s smile grew, and he said, "It's really no big deal, Armin, I don't mind. Besides, if it made me uncomfortable I wouldn't have let you touch my hand at all." Armin shifted a bit closer to the brunette and lied down next to him, his fingers still interlocked with the others. He found his eyes wondering, scanning the room and taking in every detail. Suddenly, he found himself focusing on the brunette’s lips, and how they were tinged pink, and how Eren licked them before he was about to talk, and how soft they looked…

  
Armin shook his head suddenly, looking away from Eren. It was strange, but he felt as if he was being unfaithful to Jean, despite the fact that they had broken up. Armin felt tears prick at the corner of his eyes."So," Eren began hesitantly. "Did you want to talk or did you just wanna sit in each other's company for a bit?" Once Armin remembered that vital piece of information about Jean, he felt another wall of sadness break over him, leaving him gasping for breath, his eyes welling up and spilling over. "Y-yes I want to talk." he said, and he felt a couple tears spill down his face and roll down his cheeks, budding at the bottom of his chin and dropping down his neck; he didn't bother wiping them. "J-just, why? What did I do wrong? I-I always try to please him because I love him and I don't ever want to hurt him...but I ended up doing it anyway. And now he's gone f-forever."

  
Armin felt Eren wiping his tears away again, and he felt horrible. He was overreacting and he knew it; Eren was probably really annoyed with him. "You didn't do anything wrong, and if he's not trying to do the same for you then he isn't fuckin’ worth your time. Treating you like shit isn't the way to do that." Eren said as he wiped Armin’s tears, his voice rising up and quieting down. "I'm sure he's not gone forever..." Armin looked up, and his friend’s hand was resting on his face, almost caressing his cheek, even though all the tears were gone. "He's too damn lucky and he knows it. He'll be back because he'd be stupid if he just walked away over something like, well," Eren bit his lip, as if struggling to think. "Like you meeting some dude- me- and hanging out with him. Don't take this the wrong way, but Armin, really, you deserve someone who'll treat you right." Armin tilted his head curiously at the brunette, for as soon as the words had left his lips, a blush dusted his face. But he still didn’t let go of Armin’s hand.

  
"Thank you, Eren." Armin said, his eyes dry. "You're the best friend anyone could hope for." Curiously, a look of hurt flashed across the brunette's face before quickly morphing into a large and sincere smile. Armin shook it from his mind, telling himself it was a trick of the light. "..Yeah. You're welcome dude. What're friends for, right?" Eren laughed humorously, all the affection and softness gone from his expression. "You'll be okay, you know."

Armin smiled, glad to know his friend was here for him.  
Armin leaned back down, lying down on the brunette’s bed. Strangely, the only thought that crossed his mind was _I’m not going to finish my essay today._ As they lay together, legs tangled together and fingers intertwined, Armin felt his heart beat painfully, though now he wasn’t sure who this pain was for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Also thanks for all the kudos and comments, it really means a lot to me :) I'd also like to introduce a co-author, anchoredPaws, who's gonna be writing Eren and Jean's POV. Kudos to him! :3


	4. Feels Like War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [ And the bitch of it all is that I'm running from ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDbVY3gCJgg)  
> [ The desire of the people to whom I belong ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDbVY3gCJgg)  
> [ At the end of the day you can tell me I'm wrong ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDbVY3gCJgg)  
> [ 'Cause you went to all of this trouble ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDbVY3gCJgg)  
> A Love Like War - All Time Low

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jean and eren's pov's in that order  
> welcome aboard the angst express, kiddos.

Jean lounged casually in one of the comfier chairs in the cafe, battling out a particularly vicious round of Angry Birds as he waited for his boyfriend. The sound of the door opening, given away by the little bell that chimed, forced him to tear his attention away from his phone. A little smile graced his lips as Armin arrived. "Hey babe," He began, locking his phone and sliding it into his front pocket. "Want the usual?" Already standing once the words left his mouth, Jean was ready to go get their coffee as Armin set up shop with his laptop and accessories because the guy had a damn system that bewildered him more often than not.  
Armin opened his laptop and set it up, smiling widely at Jean.

"Sure." he said, starting up his laptop and opening his essay for psychology. He was supposed to analyze the concept of mob psychology, and how it affected some important events in history. Armin was studying some kind of 'ye olde witch'- _The Salem Witch Trials, Jean!_ \- bullshit that Jean would pretend to care about because Armin cared about it, and Jean cared about Armin. The taller boy ordered their usual and even smiled a bit at the barista because things actually felt pretty good right now. Hopefully, they'd have a nice little coffee date and he could ask Armin about setting up dinner later tonight... His thoughts trailed off and as he returned to the table, his heart sank a bit as all of Armin's enthusiasm went to his phone, and Jean barely god a decent 'thank you.' This was some fucking bullshit if he'd ever seen it. Jean sat down a bit more stiffly this time, squinting a bit at the phone and the little grin on Armin's lips. A grin that should've been his.

"Who're you textin?" He forced his tone to be more pleasant than he felt.

Armin smiled again before looking a bit startled, blue eyes widening in surprise and making the other's heart skip a beat. "I was texting my friend Eren." he answered, and those skipped beats? Yeah they took a fuckin swan dive down into his gut.

Jean's heart felt like it was stuck in his throat. Why was there so much tension? Armin had no reason to act so fucking shady... did he? The sandy haired boy took a long sip of his drink, muttering a curse as it burned his throat and tongue. Ah yes, _Eren_. Armin's friend who he'd been spending a really suspicious amount of time with. Who he'd been texting a whole fuckin' lot and maybe even more than Jean. ...Who brought stupid smiles to his stupid face when he texted Armin oh god fucking dammit. Jean's eyebrows furrowed. "Of course, Eren fucking nobody from the park, right?" He gaped a bit when Armin actually texted again even though he _clearly_ saw how it upset Jean.

"Must be an interesting conversation." He muttered bitterly.

Armin looked up at Jean with those big eyes that always twinkled and sparkled for him. Now they were just dark with worry as he slid his phone into his pocket nervously. Jean flinched a bit when he saw Armin's fingers at the bridge of his nose, guilt and something bitter swirled in his gut. He didn't dignify Armin's half-assed excuse with a response and instead took to glaring at his drink like it'd been the one to make his heart ache instead of the blond boy in front of him.

"I was just asking him stuff." Came the blond's reply, his hands falling limply into his lap.  
"I'll stop texting him now if it's really bothering you that much."

"So, what have you been up to?"

At first, the question didn't register. He was too lost in thought. Why was Jean even so jealous? This other guy had just waltzed into Armin's life and become his boyfriend's goddamn obsession and had stolen the looks that were supposed to be his. He almost smiled when he thought about the way Armin looked at him, and now Eren... He looked so pretty like that. And not pretty in the girly way. Pretty in the way that made a dude's heart flutter and skip beats. Like he was a damn schoolgirl instead of a college student. He looked back up then, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to fight through the inner termoil he'd been faced with. The fuck did Eren have that Jean didn't anymore? He'd apologized profusely for what happened, felt like shit over it, been physically sick over it, and now... nothing? Jean always knew he was a shitty person, but not to this extent. "...Nothing," Came the delayed response, and Jean knew it sounded a pathetic as he felt.  
"Just school, y'know, the usual. I don't exactly go hang out with people," He narrowed his eyes. "You're the only one save for Marco that I actually make time for." A loud heaving sigh slipped out of him then, and he reached out to hold Armin's hand across the table.

Jean chuckled a bit when his hand was squeezed, stroking his thumb along the top of Armin's hand. That smile made him feel like he was flying, despite the bittersweet taste that came from knowing he had to share that look with some fuck who hasn't been through HALF of what hes been through with Armin... Alas, beggers can't be choosers and that's Jean's favourite smile.

"I love you." The pitch lilted up at the end.

"Why does that sound like a question," He murmured, eyebrows pulling up a bit even as he shot the boy a smile of his own. Armin loved him, that much Jean knew. He showed it better than he said it now, though, and the taller boy wondered if that could've been because they didn't really say it too often anymore. "I love you too." His voice didn't waver because he was unsure. It wavered because it hurt to know that he didn't say it as much as he should've been through their relationship. Once he'd realized that he loved Armin, Jean had been on cloud nine. When Armin said it back, Jean had replayed the scene in his head until he couldn't think of anything else. No one had ever loved him back, let alone said it with such conviction Jean nearly teared up. This new tone made him feel like kicking something, though. The little raise of his voice at the end that made it sound uncertain. Jean scowled as the thought of Armin's new friend crossed his mind. Did Armin love this new kid too? Fingers unconsciously gripping Armin's tighter- protectively- Jean found himself leaning across the table and stealing a long, slow kiss, ignoring the way the other's expression wavered slightly. He tried his damndest to say with the brush of their lips, all the things he couldn't bring himself to say with words. When he pulled back, the only thing he could manage was. "Are you still mine?"

"Jean, I-I can cancel my plans with Eren and we can do something today?" The smile was back, a hopeful edge to his words.

He allowed one hand to run softly along Armin's cheek- an entirely self indulgent act- before he pulled away. Jean's own face was painted red with blush, anger and frustration mixed in, leaving a bitter taste on his tongue. He ached to kiss Armin again, to hold him and verify for sure that he wasn't losing this kid that he cared for so fucking much that it terrified him. Jean was never one to get close to people, and Armin was, to quote Paramore, the only exception. He'd become good friends with Marco (even best friends, in his case) and Sasha, but... never opened up in the same way. He was beginning to regret, though. Making himself so vulnerable to Armin was always going to kill him in the end, and he knew it, but he shot himself through the heart as soon as they'd kissed for the first time. Jean visibly cringed at the mention of that fucking Eren kid again, and he scowled.

"Can't we have a normal conversation without that asshole's name coming into it?! I swear he's all I fucking hear about anymore," He fumed, bristlig with anger and hurt and jealousy. One hand reached out to grip at Armin's shirt, tugging him in closer, a snarl on his lips. "The fuck does he have that I don't, huh?? The FUCK IS SO GOOD ABOUT THIS KID THAT I CAN'T GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD LET ALONE YOURS?!" Jean's voice was raising with each word and fuck he hadn't meant to scream in Armin's face in public but everything hurt- it fucking burned his throat when he spat out such venomous words at someone he'd never wanted to touch with this side of him. The side that couldn't handle rejection because he'd already convinced himself he wasn't worth accepting in the first place. Jean glared at the blonde boy, spluttering a few curses that were directed at himself more than Armin, shoved him away and stumbled out of his seat. "Go fucking hang out with that stupid Eren kid, and don't even bother texting me tonight- just delete my fucking phone number, Armin, I can't handle this shit," He stopped, turned on his heels and when he spoke again his voice broke. "I love you, Armin, but I'm not gonna stick around and wait until you cheat on me with that kid, and I'm not gonna be strung along." And with that, he exited the cafe, biting his lip and consequently, biting back tears.

* * *

 

Jean had nearly slammed into a chick the second he'd opened the door, he'd flipped her the bird and broke into a sprint. He had to get the fuck out of there. His mind registered the sound of someone yelling his name- Armin, precious precious Armin oh god Jean was fucking disgusting- but he kept running until he turned a corner. Once he felt like he was a safe distance away, he doubled over, chest heaving because everything was too much and he couldn't fucking breathe. The world felt like it was spinning and Jean felt like he was gonna be sick.

How could he have thrown away the best thing in his life?

In a coffee shop, over some random dude?

"Stupid, stupid fucking asshole!" He yelled, slamming his hand against the wall of a building and earning himself some looks. Fuck them, though. He felt like screaming and ripping out his hair, throwing up, begging for Armin to forget the whole thing, and never seeing Armin's stupid fucking perfect smile again. Why didn't he fight harder? Armin deserved better. _I'm a fucking coward_ A whimper broke through and his bottom lip quivered. Armin shouldn't forgive him for that. Jean shouldn't even ask. He hoped Armin actually did delete his number, so Jean couldn't drag him back. He didn't want the self-hatred he felt to go away. He wanted to wallow in it. To remember it the next time he tried to get close to somebody. Jean shoved his shaking hands into his pockets, one emerging with his phone. He sniffled and rubbed his nose with the back of his hand like a damn child. No, Jean Kirschtein was not going to cry on the fucking sidewalk like he was in some cheesy romnce movie. He wasn't going to scream and cry and harp on himself over Armin being 'the one that got away'. So he did what he had to do. Start walking again, back towards the dorms, typing out a horrendous message that autocorrect tried it's damndest to fix and just ended up fucking up worse.  
 **To: Marco  
**

**ode you heave a monument  
**

**fuck  
**

**do you have a moment*  
**

**...or an hour.**

Jean shifted from foot to foot uneasily once he came to a stop, eyes flitting from his phone to the questionable pawn shop he'd chosen to loiter at. People payed him no mind, despite the obnoxious and embarrassing whimpers that managed to escape his gritted teeth. _Come on, Marco please please answer_. The boy attempted to will Marco into texting him, eyebrows furrowing in concentration as he stared at his phone. No luck for the moment, though, and Jean gave up with an aggravated growl- which did, in fact, startle those around him, who'da thunk it. 

A harsh vibrating nearly made Jean drop his phone.

_Thank you, Freckled Jesus._

**From: Marco**

**Yeah, of course Jean! What's wrong??? ):**

**Actually, just come over and tell me in person, I don't trust your typing skills even with autocorrect right now...**

Wow, fuck you too man. 

Despite the somewhat aggressive thought, he felt a sad little smile force his lips to curve up slightly. He tapped back a quick, nearly unreadable reply and turned back towards campus. Marco's dorm wasn't too far from his own, and he knew every damn short-cut there was from the coffee shop- _his and Armin's coffee shop oh fuck_ \- because he always tried to beat the aforementioned boy there. Jean high-tailed it, nearly missing curbs as he ran, getting everything from honked at to yelled at and honestly he couldn't find it in himself to give a damn. He was out of breath by the time he reached Marco's dorm, lungs burning from the cold, dry winter air.

* * *

 

Jean knocked once, twice, thrice and was greeted with that familiar undercut- the one that twinned his, because they'd both made the decision to cut it way back in high school because they were 'edgy' and 'punk'. Which they still are, lets be real. 

Marco didn't say anything. He didn't need to. He knew Jean didn't want the cheesy 'oh poor baby don't cry,' shit, since he was never one to apprciate sweetness when he felt like trash. He didn't ask when fresh hot tears were already welling up, knuckles white from how hard he'd been clenching his fists, thin frame shaking. No. Marco wrapped his arms around Jean's shoulders and pulled him into a fierce hug, that the smaller boy melted into gratefully, throwing his own arms around the freckled boy's waist and gripping at the fabric on his back.

He was probably ruining Marco's shirt. 

Salty tears stained the sweater that his best friend was wearing, and probably snot too, despite all of Jean's sniffling and snuffling. One of Marco's hand came up to card through the blond long hairs atop his head, and he found himself nuzzling into the boy's shoulder. They were still standing in the doorway, and even though the realization made Jean stiffen with anxiety- people seeing him cry never ended well- he felt safer in the tanned boy's embrace than he had all day, hell, all week, and found that he didn't mind it too much. 

The silence was meaningful and heavy, it weighed on Jean's heart like a fucking anchor and when he chanced a peek up at Marco's eyes, they were dark with worry and something Jean couldn't... quite place in their warm depths. He knew he'd seen that look before. Not just from Marco. Huh. Dropping it, he decided to break the quiet, to give his friend a clue as to what happened.

"...I br-" His voice cracked and he tried again. "-I broke up with Armin." The second time wasn't any better, pitch rising and faltering as he tried to push the words through a closing throat. Ah, yeah, there was his heart, still stuck. It's edges were jagged and they stabbed into him, but Jean figured he deserved it. He'd shattered his own heart after all. 

Marco pulled him back and furrowed his eyebrows. 

"...You didn't shatter your own heart, Jean." A soft murmur, filled with sadness- fuck it practically overflowed with it- but not pity. 

"I didn't even realize I said that out loud," He laughed shakily, the sound resonating in his ears and bringing a fresh wave of disgust with it. Did he even deserve to laugh? 

"I don't care," Freckles was tugging him inside by the arm, now, and Jean relished in how warm his touch was. "I don't think that you'd break up with Armin over nothing, because it takes a lot to get you so upset, so spill."

Jean flumped down on Marco's couch, tugging a pillow to his face and squeezing it tightly. Marco's expression was a little unreadable again, and it peaked Jean's interest, though he knew the boy wasn't gonna tell him anything until Jean 'spilled', so he'd keep it on the back burner for now.

"He,"

Fuck. 

"I already told you about the park thing, right?"

Marco nodded.

"Well.. that kid who saved him, Eren,"

The name burned on his tongue and his lip curled. Marco sat where Jean's waist allowed the couch to show, as his back was pressed against the back cushions and a small sliver of fabric was still available to sit on.

"has been talking with Armin non-fucking-stop. Like, I can't even have a conversation with Armin without that goddamn punk coming into our conversations because I'm a nosy asshole wHO ALWAYS HAS TO ASK WHO HE'S TEXTING EVEN THOUGH I KNOW, I FUCKING KNOW WHO HE'S TALKING TO AND I TORTURE MYSELF BECAUSE I WANNA HEAR HIM SAY IT,"

Jean's shaking again, voice much louder than it has any right to be and breaking in too many places.

"I can't ever be fucking good enough, Marco, I can't be good enough to make Armin happy so he found another guy and oh my god, Marco, he was the only one who even fucking looked at me like I was worth something, like he really did love me-"

Marco's features twisted into something undeniably bitter.

"-and I just dumped him in front of the whole cafe, everyone heard and saw and I made him cry I'm so fucking disgusting-"

"No."

Jean blinked and attempted to focus on the source of the voice with bleary eyes.

"You're wrong, Jean." Marco's voice was harsh, edges raw with something absolutely vicious. 

"You're so far from disgusting, and honestly if Armin's gonna go run off with some other guy, he doesn't know what he's losing. You had to protect your feelings, and that's understandable. Yeah, it's gonna hurt, but you knew that already,"

Marco pressed against Jean a bit when he leaned back. 

"Maybe you'll be able to talk it out- who knows, maybe Eren's a good guy?" 

Jean shot him a dirty look. 

"...Or not, but the point is, you're gonna make it out with cuts and bruises but you won't be dead. You can make it. I know you can. And... maybe you'll find someone who can help you patch up that shattered heart. Or at least hold you tight enough to keep the pieces together while you Band-Aid it back together. May not be a perfect fix, but... it's a start."

His heart swelled when those words graced his ears and Jean found himself tugging Marco down by the arm, wrapping himself protectively around the boy, who pressed right back. They were puzzle pieces that fit too perfectly together. Marco made him feel whole even when he had 10 different cracks of every shape and size. He was Jean's best fucking friend. Hell, maybe even his soul mate in some cheesy kind of no-homo way. 

They laid in content silence for a while, Marco listening to his friend's heart beat stagger and stumble along with his breathing as he attempted to calm down, and Jean clinging desperately to the only person who made him feel like he belonged somewhere other than 6 feet under. Somewhere safe and warm. 

* * *

 

Eren jumped at the sudden vibration in his phone.

**One (1) new message**

...From Armin?

So soon?

His eyebrows furrowed as he opened the message and he felt his heart drop into his stomach. The hell was this about? Did that fucking douchelord- _no matter how much Armin swore he wasn't, thats what he was dammit the dude deserved a shitty crown and everything_ \- hurt him? Eren tapped out a quick 'of course, be right there' and threw on a heavy jacket, scarf, and boots before running out the door. He managed to make it down to their usual meeting spot in around 10 minutes, guilt and anxiety making him nauseous. Why hadn't Armin texted him more? Eren was positive he could've cheered the blonde up. Anger flared up in him when the answer made itself clear to him. Jean. What kind of boyfriend didn't let his boyfriend text when they hung out? How petty. Eren shifted his weight from foot to foot as he waited, trying to push his anger down until he knew exactly what was up. And come to think of it... he wasn't too sure why he was so angry either. It could've been nothing and Armin could've just had a little too much caffine. The doubts continued to build until he saw that little blond boy he was so damn fond of, with blotchy cheeks and a red nose and tears spilling from his eyes oh fuck he was cute even when he cried. 

 "Th-thanks for coming, Eren." Sniveling hiccups and tears flowed easily from the blond boy, no matter how many times he attempted to wipe them. Eren found himself wanting to kiss the tears awa- no. Fucking cut that shit out, Eren. Instead, he ran up and pulled his friend into a tight hug, lifting hip up off the ground and squeezing him softly. "Armin, dude, what happened?" He murmured next to the other's ear, pulling back just enough to give him a cheeky little smile. "You look like hell."

"J-Jean broke up with me." he said, voice broken. Eren busied himself with gingerly wiping the tears away, minding the still-healing bruises on Armin's face that made something in his heart twist painfully whenever he thought about them. He must've been so self-conscious about them, but that little smile was still so sweet and just for Eren and it left him with a warm tingly feeling where their bodies were in contact. That warm tingly feeling only lasted him so long, however, because as soon as he heard that asshole's name leave Armin's mouth and the way his voice broke when he tried to get it out, anger and a bitter jealousy made him see red.

"A-and then he just left!" Armin curled in on himself. 

"He did what?!" Eren struggled to keep his voice low, hands shaking despite his efforts.

He had never had a break up before; he was experiencing the pain for the first time. He coughed a little and looked up at Eren, feeling a twinge of regret. He had pulled the brunette into this, and he probably wanted nothing to do with it. He had just met Eren, after all.

"I'm sorry I had to bring you into this." That sweet voice trembled. 

 "God that fucking dick, I'm so so sorry Armin," Eren wrapped his arms around Armin again, combing his fingers through those soft blond locks.

"I-I just had no one else to talk to."

 "Don't be sorry, really, I don't mind," He paused, a little smile making its way to his lips. "Well, I mind that he hurt you so badly... but I don't mind listening to you. I just wish I could help you feel better, take the pain awa-" He cut himself off, sighing and biting at his lip. It wasn't the time to take advantage of Armin's weakened state with sappy confessions of things he wasn't sure of.

...And Armin started sobbing again.

 So Eren continued to hold the boy, rubbing soft circles into his back until he'd cried himself out. His reward was enough to leave him breathless. Eren was greeted with such a sweet smile, and even though he could tell it was a little hard to do, Eren blushed despite himself because oh fuck that was so cute, this kid was smiling at him like he meant the world to Armin. It made his heart flutter so hard he thought it'd burst out of his ribcage. He leaned closer, rested his chin on Armin's shoulder, and tugged the boy so that his back was pressed against Eren's chest. "I know you're sad... but," He gave a nervous little grin that would've been sheepish if the look in his eyes hadn't been so soft. . "You're too pretty to cry, Armin."

Eren hummed softly, content to sit with Armin for as long as he needed because everything was nice and the blond was finally calming down- or so he thought. Armin stiffened in his grip and in an instant he was gone, a good few feet away. The noise he'd made when he got to his feet was heartbreaking and Eren tried his damndest not to be hurt but the fact that Armin made that noise because of _him_ made Eren's heart jump into his throat and stick there. He swallowed thickly.

"I...?" Words were a struggle and he shook his head a bit, trying to clear away the stupid feelings that he couldn't quite shake, and didn't quite understand. "Did I do something wrong?"

He started to get up and stopped, flinching a bit because what if Armin just moved away again? It'd been such a harsh reaction and Eren's head swam with possibilities of mistakes he could've made. He didn't mean to have all of those strange thoughts about the other boy, didn't mean to feel like he was falling for a stranger. And yet, here he sat, realizing that oh god, he might have feelings for the boy sitting across from him. The boy who'd just run away from him and left him with a burning feeling of shame.

"If.. If you want me to go or something- I-" He frowned at Armin, running a hand through his hair and getting snagged on the beanie he forgot he was wearing.

"Fuck," He fumbled with it, face burning with embarrassment and shame. 

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, man... but uh, I guess asking if you wanted to come hang out at my place n eat ice cream or something is out of the question now, hah." Eren gave a humorless laugh, more from nerves than anything else.

 "I-I'd love to go over to your dorm." Armin murmured sheepishly as he tugged on his jacket and gathered his things- clearly not waiting for a response.

With that, they turned to leave, shoulders and hands brushing when they moved, making Eren's skin light up and tingle with strange sensations that he didn't even want to think about. 

* * *

 

 "Um, Eren, would you mind if I worked on my essay at you house? I have to get it done..." Armin sounded almost nervous

Eren smiled a little when Armin agreed to go to his dorm, relief washing over him in waves, coloring his vision a delicate pink. He watched Armin get up, put his jacket on, and gather his things before moving, feeling like he could spook the blond easily if he moved too soon. Pulling himself to his feet, he moved to walk next to Armin, jackets brushing and causing Eren to flinch away because oh god please dont let him get uncomfortable. The pretense was unnecessary, however, as Armin practically radiated awkwardness and the small talk was atrocious.

"Sure, I'm not gonna steal your computer and forbid you from doing work, dork." He grinned down at the other, nudging him a bit before turning his attention back to the sidewalk.

"Did you have a specific kind of ice cream you wanted?" he murmured after a few moments, attempting to make Armin a little more comfortable and bring a bit more normalcy to the conversation.

* * *

 

They finally arrived at Eren's dorm, which was on the second floor luckily, and he unlocked the door before holding it open to gesture for Armin to enter. He kicked the door open to his own little part of the room, briefly explaining that the room they'd just gone through was the common area then promptly flopping down on his bed. After a long stretch and nuzzling into his pillow, he patted the bed beside him.

"Home sweet home."

Armin loitered by his door a little bit longer than he needed to, uneasiness and something Eren would peg as embarrassment radiating off of him. He'd almost given up hope when the blond boy sat down next to him, still a little tense. A few moments passed and the larger boy could practically hear the gears turning in Armin's head as he struggled with some internal conflict. _He probably doesn't know if he should take his shoes off or something, man I bet he's that polite_. He bit back a chuckle. That was when Armin made up his mind, a slightly determined glint in his eye as he layed down and pressed himself closer to Eren. 

And wrapped his hand around Eren's.

Eren smiled despite himself when that smaller hand grabbed his own, and his cheeks burned a bit. 

"I-I'm sorry, I just find physical contact comforting, and..." he squeezed Eren's hand.

He watched Armin with an unfathomable expression- soft affection in the depths of his green eyes- as he fumbled to find a way to explain away the suden contact. Of course Eren didn't mind it, hell, he loved it. More than he should, sure, but he wasn't gonna tell Armin that.

"I really need comfort right now." He lowered his chin to his chest so his bangs fell in front of his eyes, and continued, "If you want me to stop, Eren, just tell me." He tried hard not to cry again; he didn't want to make Eren uncomfortable.

Eren smiled despite himself when that smaller hand grabbed his own, and his cheeks burned a bit at the squeeze. He watched Armin with an unfathomable expression- soft affection in the depths of his green eyes- as he fumbled to find a way to explain away the suden contact. Of course Eren didn't mind it, hell, he loved it. More than he should, sure, but he wasn't gonna tell Armin that. In the brunet's mind, affection was just another nudge towards the feelings he'd been combating since he'd saved the kid. He didn't reply to Armin at first except giving a light squeeze of his own, though after a couple heartbeat's time- though really, they were stuttering and couldn't be trusted- he turned to look at the blond, a smile plastered across his face.

"It's really no big deal, Armin, I don't mind," Understatement of the century, Jaeger. "Besides, if it made me uncomfortable I wouldn't have let you touch my hand at all." Blunt honesty wasn't Eren's forte, but he assumed it'd be the best thing here. No beating around the bush, no bullshit. What a hypocrite he was, though. Harboring secretive feelings for the boy whose shoulder he was all too aware of as it pressed innocently against his own. Hypocrite or not, Eren would be damned if he didn't enjoy this opportunity as best he could. So, as stealthily as possible, he removed the hand Armin was hanging onto from his grasp, flipped so he was laying propped up on his forearm, hand supporting his head as he leaned. Once he was situated properly, he took the boy's hand again in his free one, his smile never leaving- only widening as he watched confusion and light blush flit across Armin's features.

"So," He began hesitantly.

"Did you want to talk or did you just wanna sit in each other's company for a bit?"

Armin blushed and sat in silence, once again seeming to think a little too hard about something before _oh god were those tears welling up_?

"Y-yes I want to talk." Tears streamed down blotchy cheeks.

"J-just, why? What did I do wrong? I-I always try to please him because I love him and I don't ever want to hurt him...but I ended up doing it anyway. And now he's gone f-forever."

Eren took note of the way Armin's eyes seemed to focus on everything but his eyes for a while, one eyebrow raising curiously. It was foolish to think that the blond's attention had been on his lips, right? He blinked away the strange feeling that accompanied that thought and returned his attention to the current issue- Armin wanting to talk about the breakup and _oh god blaming himself for it no, no no_.

Eren tightened his grip on the other's hand to keep from wiping at the tears that were staining his blanket and Armin's shirt, heart twisting as he watched more and more well up; as he heard that sweet voice crack and stutter. Eren scowled as the last words slipped out of Armin's mouth. "You didn't do anything wrong, and if he's not trying to do the same for you then he isn't fuckin worth your time. Treating you like shit isn't the way to do that." His voice had risen to a growl and he had to struggle to soften it as he spoke again. "I'm sure he's not gone forever..." Eren paused, actually brushing the tears away from Armin's cheek with the back of his hand- because he refused to let the blond's go- before speaking again. "He's too damn lucky and he knows it. He'll be back because he'd be stupid if he just walked away over something like, well," He bit his lip. "Like you meeting some dude- me- and hanging out with him." Heaving a sigh, he pursed his lips. "Don't take this the wrong way, but Armin, really, you deserve someone who'll treat you right." _And I would treat you right._

"Thank you, Eren." Armin sounded a little more confident in his words.

"You're the best friend anyone could hope for." 

Eren visibly flinched at the emphasis on 'friend'. Yeah... He'd seen that one coming. At least he had Armin as a friend, though, and he could be content with that if he tried. Eren could force the feelings away as easily as he could force a smile, he knew that, but the little bit of hope he'd clung to refused to ebb away entirely and the smile that spread across his lips was genuine and hopeful.

"..Yeah. You're welcome dude. What're friends for, right?" He barked a dry laugh and cleared his throat, feeling very heavy for a reason he didn't want to think about anymore.

"You'll be okay, you know." Eren tacked on after a thoughtful moment.

"Thank you, Eren." Armin was smiling at him again, and he decided that he could ignore the painful twinge in his heart as long as the blond kept smiling. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by the way, im prince and i'm coffee's co-author from here on out  
> hope yall enjoy!


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